Got My Degree…Finally

As Kanye once asked: you know what college does to you? It makes you really smart man. Now when a lady walks up to me and says, “Hey, you know what’s sexy?” I say, “No I don’t know what’s sexy, but I bet I can add up all the change in your purse really fast.”

Woot! Do you see that son? I have rights AND privileges now: the right to be a pedantic, elitist, out-of-touch, pink commie Islamo-facist, and the privilege to work at entry-level political jobs that contribute to the coarsening of the political process.

This will do wonders for my sex life. I guarantee you.

But seriously, let me stop being flippany for a moment (but only for a moment), and let me be quite somber and say this: it took a lot of people to sacrifice a lot of things so that I could hold this piece of paper in my hands. In fact, someone had to die (may my mother, God bless her soul, rest in peace) for me to get here, and despite whatever “irony” I employ as a self-defense mechanism, I cannot take away the sacrifices that people have made on my behalf.

And sometimes, despite my being a very lapsed, non-practicing Catholic, the Catholic guilt inside me threatens to overwhelm, as it is likely to do now. I can never be sure if I ever lived up to the sacrifices that people have made, and I can never be sure that whatever I do, now or later, can ever redeem their suffering and their time.

The moment is passed, so let us return to our scheduled programming: my money is that I will receive a text message at 3AM tonight from Barack Obama, announcing his VP pick.


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